Thursday, 25 December 2014

Christmas And Other Bullshit

To whom it may concern:
Christmas, for a change, was actually great. For the past I don't know how many years my ex has found some way to fuck it up, but this year it went off without a hitch. The kids were awesome and adorable as ever, they loved their presents, the steaks I cooked for me and my mother were gorgeous, the ex didn't pull any of her stunts, just dropped the kids off and fucked off, which was great, and I've been sitting here teaching myself to play blues harmonica while the kids sleep. The blues harp was my present to myself. The only other presents I had were a graphic novel off my brother and a jar of Colman's mustard off Phoebe. I was chuffed with them. I don't need presents. I just need the kids to be happy with their presents and for it to be over. Fuck Christmas. I wouldn't want anything to do with Santa even if I was freezing to death and he had the monopoly on heat. No doubt the morphine and valium I've been taking for my chronic back pain helped the day fly by, but whatever. I've been cutting myself down, even though I shouldn't really, and I barely slept last night. Anyway, fuck it, it didn't matter. The back's slowly getting better. Both bands are going through really creative phases. My main band is gonna be recording soon. Possibly a lot. The other band's been offered recording time. Gotta gig on New Year's Eve that's paying well. Life is good.
I was feeling miserable on the weekend, for a variety of reasons, and a couple of dispiriting things happened, but I went and bought a blues harp and everything's better. I recommend it to everyone. Now I've got to get a bunch of harmonicas in different keys and play them all. (Mine's a G.) Luckily, decent harmonicas aren't that expensive.
Is anyone actually reading this? I'm sorry, man. It's Christmas night and I'm shitfaced and I felt like having a faceless conversation with whatever stranger comes across this at whatever point in the future. How are you? Christmas go ok? It's a nightmare, innit? Any family arguments? They are as much a part of Christmas as much as the daft paper hats, after all. 
I might be dead by the time someone reads this. I could get hit by a drunk driver tomorrow. What a pointless last communication with the ether this would be. Fuck it. I'm too wrecked. I'm gonna play some blues and go to bed.
Goodnight world.
And have a good New Year's Eve. Just don't go into it with high expectations, cos New Year's Eve is always a fuckin letdown. In the same way that the best parties are the ones that happen spontaneously, New Year's Eve is always an anticlimax cos everyone expects to go out and have the best night of the year, and it never fuckin happens. So just, y'know, adjust your expectations.
Take it easy folks.

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